Rambling Thoughts on Relationship Needs
What is the deal with relationships? How is it that they start off so wonderfully and then what you were so attracted to in that person slowly fades? It is almost as if people present themselves as being someone else in the beginning of a relationship. You fall in love with these characteristics (thinking that is who the person truly is) only to find out that those characterisics are not a true representation of that person. Is it just the process of trying to attract a mate and telling them what they want to hear in order to "hook" them?
Once you are in the relationship and you express that desire to see those characteristics which are missing, how long do you wait to see if they appear again? After expressing your needs and desires to another, if they can't meet your expectations, do you let it go? Let them go? If those needs were met in the beginning, how then are they not met after a year or so? Is this the normal course in relationships? Have my needs changed? Has that other person changed?
Maybe those needs which have been expressed are not understood by the other person. Maybe they are unrealistic. Maybe that other person doesn't care enough to put forth the effort in trying to meet the needs of the other person? If that is the case, then that is my answer!
(Yellow flag Melissa)
posted by happinesslieswithin @ 10:38 AM
1 Comments:
Maybe those needs are not even understood or recognized until other needs lower on Maslow's hierarchy are met first. Were we all self-actualized individuals, we could go into relationships with our eyes fully open and be completely honest.
I have found that my issues over time all kept being closer to the top of the pyramid. If I waited until I finally became fully self-actualized, I would be too old for the physical stuff at the bottom. LOL
However, one would hope that both parties in a relationship would be forging towards the top of that pyramid, together. Often times that doesn’t happen, then we are in real pickle.
I think you are right about not being honest about one’s needs and while focusing only on the lower ones. I know I was. Now I wish I would have focused on the top of the pyramid and let the rest get dealt with on the way up.
Relationships suck, I am going to a cave…
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