Lots of Maybe's

How can you desire something but at the same time it be your biggest fear? Maybe knowing it is my biggest fear provides me the challenge of embracing and conquering it? Maybe what I fear is an illusion? If there truly is a higher power and it is with us at all times, then I'm not alone. Maybe I'm not totally at peace and happy with myself and that is why I seek outside sources to fill that inner void? Or how about the fact that I've never in my life had to be alone and this is simply a new experience which I should allow to happen and not resist? Maybe this is another step in my journey to transcendence? Maybe this is one of those times when patience is required? Aaahhh, yes, there is that word again... PATIENCE! I'm such a patient person when it comes to dealing with other people, traffic, lines, etc. However, I'm not patient with life or myself. Something to ponder I think.