Trying to Connect

Sometimes I really get tired of putting forth the effort with people. I get so tired of continually expressing myself from the heart, being open and genuine with people. (Speaking my mind and just laying my thoughts and feelings out for everyone to see.) I wonder what the point is. Why do I try so hard with people? Am I afraid of silence? Being alone? Being inadequate? Lack of attention? I really don't know why I feel like expressing my true inner deep feelings to those who I share my life with on a daily basis. I guess for me, it's about living and experiencing LIFE. I can't understand why most people don't want to do this. Our lives on this planet is so short lived. Why not put some kind of real, true meaning in it every day? I simply feel and think too deeply for the average person I suppose. I live every day and every moment just waiting for someone to understand me or where I'm coming from. Just a small glimpse into the real true meaning of life is all it takes to excite or encourage me. It doesn't take much. Just some kind of gesture that someone has heard me or related to my deep thoughts. Or that some human living being in this big universe has touched on something that is bigger or more powerful than our physical existence. Something to let me know that what I FEEL and think about every day might have some kind of TRUTH to it.

I know I'm not a patient person. And I know that I will not sit around forever to find these people whom I know exist and have similar thought patterns as myself. I'm a seeker. I will not rest peacefully until I have found those who can accept me, embrace me and want me in their daily lives. My life is too short to wait around on others. I know what I want and I will not give up until my desires are fulfilled.